In this blog, I want to talk about grief and grief support. Grief is universally something we all will face in our lifetime. I believe that knowing how to support grief both for yourself and others is an important way to make an impact on the collective. May we all lift each other up into light and love.
I am called to speak on grief after the recent loss of my first love, Naymond.
As a biracial couple, we had to hide away from the world. Naymond said it himself, it felt like the world was against us. Our love was so pure and innocent, and it never went away. He left an imprint on me 31 years ago. Shaped who I am today. Taught me about love, how to give and receive love. I hope to one day share our story and inspire other biracial couples who love each other deeply.
In this time of loss, I am surrendering into the grief and embracing it as a time of acknowledging his legacy and our love. I hope for his legacy to live on through me and his loved ones. His legacy of being kind, inclusive, gentle, and always having a bright smile. He would always say he wanted to give love and lift people up to happiness.
Grieving is a holy state that demands honor.
Those in grief need a cloak of love around them. In our Western world, we try to avoid/run away / push away this wild, untamed emotion that feels as if it could swallow us. If you surrender, it's a beautiful state of awareness that allows the depth of love to overcome you. It is the space that will allow you to live more fully alive.
To all of those grieving, you have my protection and care. I am here to support you with acupuncture and herbal medicine as well.
Acupuncture for Grief
Acupuncture and Herbal Medicine offer invaluable support for those who are dealing with grief. This ancient medicine has long been used as an effective way of relieving stress levels, bringing emotional balance and treating physical symptoms that arrive with grief.
Stress Reduction and Emotional Balance
Acupuncture can stimulate the production of endorphins, the body's natural mood enhancers. When specific points are targeted during the grieving process, acupuncture may significantly reduce stress and provide emotional balance.
Important Points:
Yin Tang: This point between the eyebrows helps calm the mind and promote emotional equilibrium.
Heart 7 (Shenmen, also called “Spirit Gate”): This point is seen is a the gate/door to access the spirit/mind/emotions, the point is located on the wrist and helps immensely with relieving anxiety and supporting relaxation.
Physical Symptoms
Grief often manifests physically. People may often associate grief with only affecting us on an emotional level, but grief affects our mind, body, spirit. Physical grief can manifest in many ways, but often issues include: headaches, digestive problems, insomnia, lack of appetite, fatigue, and tension. The grieving process is different for everyone.
Important Points:
Pericardium 6 (Nei Guan): This point is located on the inner forearm, it is known for relieving nausea and vomiting. If you are experiencing upset stomach, this is the point to use.
Stomach 36 (Zu San Li, “Leg Three Mile”): This point is located at the lower leg level, it is associated with boosting energy levels, alleviating digestive problems, and relieving fatigue. This point is often associated with longevity.
Herbal Medicine For Grief
Medicinal plants and herbs are a great ally to have during grief and herbal medicine has many different ways of providing relief both for physical and emotional symptoms.
Ashwagandha ~ This adaptogen works to build emotional resilience and stress adaptation.
Ginseng ~ Works to support mental clarity, energy levels, and stress response.
Lavender ~ Soothes nerves and supports restful sleep and relaxation
Valerian Root ~ Like lavender, this nervine herb works to relax the nervous system while promoting sleep and peace.
St. John’s Wort ~ Works to elevate your mood by relieving anxiety and tension, it can relieve mild depressive symptoms and reduces inflammation.
Chamomile ~ Another plant ally for tension and anxiety relief, as well as insomnia.
Passionflower ~ Supports anxiety and sleep issues.
Hawthorn ~ This is a classic heart tonic remedy in Western Herbalism, known for bringing strength and power to the heart and helping it to normalize in whatever way it needs.
Lemon Balm ~ John Evelyn, a writer of the 17th-century said Lemon Balm “comforts the heart and driveth away melancholy and sadness”. This plant works on lifting depression and sadness.
Motherwort ~ Also known as a remedy for the heart, this plant is a great ally to turn to during times of weakness within the heart. It supports feelings of anxiety and uneasiness. This is especially beneficial if you have physical body symptoms such as palpitations and tension in the chest.
Additional Herbal Support:
Grief Relief, Herbal Supplement
Bach, Star of Bethlehem, Flower Essence
Surrendering Into Grief:
Grief Flower Ritual
From my beloved mentor, Marna ❤️
Obtain a bouquet of 9 fresh white carnations or roses.
Take the flowers with you to a river or an abundantly flowing creek.
Stand beside the river and make a physical offering of gratitude to the spirit of the river/creek by releasing some tobacco or cornmeal into the river/creek. Also make an offering to our Earth Mother, as well as to any other stewarding spirits and luminous ones to whom you feel guided to offer.
Then take the bouquet of white rose/carnations, and, standing beside the river/creek, hold the flowers in prayer position against your heart. Pray, as you hold the bouquet, about any and all grief, sadness and sorrow that you feel in your life. Encounter your own feelings of grief and loss as fully and viscerally as you can, and release them into the flower by talking, whispering or blowing into the blossoms. Allow yourself to go fully into your grief, sadness, sorrow. Let yourself weep, if you feel tears welling within you. Cry into the blossoms.
Pray, pray, pray.
When you feel complete with your praying, squat beside the river/creek and dip the carnation blossoms into the water. Return to a standing position and cleanse the front of your body, from head to foot. Make sure that you physically touch the moistened blossoms to your body, allowing yourself to get wet as you wipe the front of your body down with the flowers.
After cleansing the front of your body, squat again and dip the blossoms into the water. Come to standing, and wash the left side of your body, from head to foot – touching the wet flower blossoms to your body. Make sure to wipe under your arm and along the side of your torso.
Again squat and dip the flower blossoms into the river/creek water. Stand and cleanse the right side of your body, from head to foot.
Squat one final time, dipping the flowers in the water. Stand and cleanse, from head to foot, the back of your body as best as you are able.
Clasp the flowers between your hands in prayer position at your heart and make any final prayers into the flowers. Then release the bouquet into the river/creek and watch the river wash the flowers downstream.
Give thanks.